Mahon Tribunal

Bertie fans are really coming out of the woodwork in response to the television documentary.

Jody Corcoran:

Corcoran, a fanatical fan, thinks that Ahern will come to regret his participation in what he describes as a ‘crude little series’. In this instance I agree with Corcoran. So far, the documentary paints Ahern in a very bad but truthful light so it’s not surprising that one of his most devoted fans is upset.

Willie (Groucho) O’Dea:

O’Dea approves of the documentary. He tells us that the series demonstrates that wealth and personal glory were not the motivating factors for Ahern’s career in politics. Mmm…perhaps all that money Bertie ‘won on the horses’ was donated to charity?

Amazingly, O’Dea actually makes a mild criticism of Haughey – “Haughey polarised, Bertie united.” He tells us. Such ‘courage’ from one of the fearful faithful? Methinks Willie will be receiving a visit some dark night from the great corrupter.

John Cooney: (Author of ‘Battleship Bertie’; Politics in Ahern’s Ireland)

Cooney is another fan although he does refer to Ahern as ‘the disgraced ex-Taoiseach’. He goes on to describe Ahern as a major figure in history, tells us that the nation nostalgically yearns for the vanished Golden Age of the Bertie Era. Well, that’s partially correct – there was a lot of vanished gold.

Cooney aligns himself with all those stupid people who ignore the facts and choose to believe the fairytale that the cunning Bertie got out of power because he knew what was coming down the line.

I say stupid people because if, as his admirers claim, Bertie was a world class leader, a man of the people, a patriot to his fingertips, surely he would have stayed on to lead the nation through the great crisis and out into the glory of yet another Golden Age? Instead, the fecker legged it.

Professor Richard Aldous (Head of History and Archives at UCD).

Never heard of this guy before but he’s certainly a Bertie fan. The professor tells us that the Mahon Tribunal will warrant a mere two paragraphs when history makes its judgement on Ahern.

“The first will be to recount the part the inquiry played in the downfall of a Taoiseach. The second paragraph will be to wonder at the democratic deficit involved in that process.”

Clearly, the professor believes that Ahern is an innocent man brought down by an evil tribunal. I wonder what influence this man has on young students.

Later, Aldous bizarrely and grotesquely equates Ahern’s leadership qualities with those of Barack Obama – Where’s that bucket?

Brendan O’Connor: (Sunday Independent columnist).

O’Connor is Ahern’s number one fan; there are times when I suspect that the columnist is actually in love with his hero. He agrees with Ahern’s ex wife that Bertie has ‘lovely eyes’.

O’Connor attacks all the usual suspects, that is, everybody who hasn’t sworn undying loyalty to the ward boss.

He regrets that the documentary felt the need to trot out all that boring nitty-gritty stuff about Ahern’s bank accounts; it destroyed what could have been a great epic, he tells us. Bertie, according to O’Connor, is a ‘flawed masterpiece.’

Like all the other Bertie fans O’Connor talks about the deep and mysterious Bertie, the man that nobody really knows, the man who doesn’t even know himself, the man who looks in the mirror every morning and asks himself – “Can I trust you?”

Given the culture of corruption and ruthless ambition in Fianna Fail I’d say that’s a question every TD in the party asks every moring as they look in the mirror.

Distasteful as it was, I watched ‘Bertie’ the television documentary on the ex Taoiseach last night. Programmes like this are always useful in gaining insights into people like Ahern, insights that in the normal run of things are hidden by spin doctors and advisors.

For me, the most important insight from the programme was the confirmation that Ahern and his cronies deliberately set out to create a mafia in the Drumcondra area with the ultimate aim of making him Taoiseach. All Fianna Fail opposition in the area was ruthlessly wiped out. Ward bosses were established to ensure everybody knew their place and did as they were told.

It shouldn’t surprise us that Ahern and his cronies were successful; after all they were operating in a country that is itself run on mafia principles created by the corrupt Haughey in whose company Ahern learned his trade.

It is, however, always fascinating to observe journalists and other commentators ignore the fact that Ahern in nothing more than a street wise chancer who had a talent for exploiting the very low standards in Irish public life.

We are constantly told that we must wait for the Mahon Tribunal report before passing judgement on Ahern’s legacy. This, of course, is rubbish. The Carruth/sterling evidence tells us all we need to know about Ahern’s pedigree.

The facts are simple. Ahern and his secretary, Grainne Carruth, swore under oath that Ahern never dealt in sterling. Both gave their evidence in the (mistaken) belief that no bank records existed to disprove their claims.

When irrefutable evidence was produced Carruth broke down and admitted her lies. Ahern, having used every excuse in the book, was reduced to the last refuge of gangsters and drug dealers – ‘I won it on the gee gees m’lord’.

It was at this moment that Ahern should have lost all credibility; it was at this moment that he should have become a figure of contemptuous fun and an object of police investigation. Instead, he was elevated to the status of great statesman and will retain that status for so long as Ireland remains a dysfunctional society unable to face reality.

Even if Mahon finds that Ahern committed perjury it won’t matter. No action will ever be taken against him, it will make no difference to his onward march to sainthood and it is very likely that he will achieve his ultimate ambition – to be president of this banana republic when we celebrate one hundred years of inefficiency, incompetence and corruption. In that respect, he’s the perfect man for the job.

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has submitted his resignation letter to the country’s President, Shimon Peres. Olmert is under investigation by police on corruption charges.

Bertie Ahern, who is suspected of far more serious crimes, is not being investigated by the police and nobody would even think of using the word ‘corruption’ when reporting on the allegations against him.

Immediately after resigning Ahern was hailed as a great statesman and all thoughts of making him accountable in Dail Eireann were forgotten.

Enda Kenny called for a general election and was roundly condemned by all and sundry. The general consensus, even among the media, was that this was Bertie’s day and any criticism was crass and unwarranted. Even Kenny’s party colleagues maintained an embarrassed silence.

By resigning Ahern became untouchable because there’s no State authority capable or willing to make him accountable. The tribunal farce will run its course but no matter what conclusions it reaches Ahern’s status as a hero will not be affected.

During a media interview after his last appearance at the tribunal Ahern said he had nothing to worry about – He’s absolutely right, he hasn’t.