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Recently, Irish Times columnist, John Waters, did a really, really, stupid thing.

Writing in the Irish Mail on Sunday (January 22) Mr. Waters describes how he was browsing the Web when he was confronted with a pop-up competition, which, he writes ‘I was impelled to engage with’.

After clicking on a proffered answer to a quiz question Waters was invited to submit his mobile phone number which, and this is where the stupidity comes in, he did.

Immediately Waters was sucked into the murky, unregulated underworld of mobile phone rip-offs that ultimately cost him up to €200.

Now it might be argued that this could happen to anybody, indeed, it obviously happens to lots of people which is why most, if not all, phone companies are engaged in these sleazy practices.

But waters was doubly stupid because five years previously his daughter was the victim of a very similar rip-off.

She had texted her number to a TV advert which allowed criminals (Waters’ word) to steal over €150 from her account.

Waters eventually managed to get his daughters money refunded but only after a great deal of hassle and stress dealing with organisations like the offending phone company, Comreg, Regtel and the Department of Communications.

Here’s how he described the situation:

I discovered that this practice was widespread. So-called ‘premium-rater’ telephone companies were seemingly able to take money from someone’s mobile phone account with total impunity, even though no service had ever been requested and none supplied.

On top of this stupidity Waters goes on (unwittingly) to admit that he is extremely naïve and disturbingly ignorant (especially for a journalist) when it comes to his knowledge of how things are done in the (corrupt) state of Ireland.

Apparently Waters is one of those people who labour under the delusion that Irish regulators are there to serve the interests of the people, to make sure that citizens are protected against the ruthless activities of white-collar criminals.

On the off chance that Mr. Waters may at some point read this article I feel impelled to spell out the brutal reality.

So-called regulators, at best, consist of comfortable freeloaders, almost always appointed by politicians, who are expert only in drawing down their lottery sum salaries and expenses while regurgitating the same glossy annual report, which invariably paints a picture of absolute happiness across the land.

They exist for only one reason – to create the pretence that Ireland is a functional, well-regulated democracy.

These so-called regulators have just two priorities.

To do as their political masters instruct and to become expert in waffling to the general public about the great job they’re doing.

At worst, so-called regulators actively work to protect and indeed facilitate white- collar criminals no matter what the crime, no matter how much damage is inflicted on Ireland and its people.

How can I make such a statement with such confidence? Simple, I just look at the record, over, say the last thirty years, of endemic white-collar crime.

How many so-called regulators have independently uncovered white-collar crime in the last thirty years – None.

How many prosecutions have been taken by so-called regulators against white-collar criminals in the last thirty years – Very, very few.

How many white-collar criminals have been jailed in the last thirty years – Very, very few.

How many major white-collar criminals have been prosecuted and/or jailed over the last thirty years – None, absolutely none.

The most disturbing aspect of Mr. Waters’ article is his total ignorance of the depth of corruption in Ireland. The headline on his article reads:

Since when is larceny not just legal but admirable?

I can answer that question very precisely.

Larceny of the white-collar variety became legal and admired in December 1979 when John Waters’ hero, the criminal politician Haughey, came to power.

It was at that ignominious moment that Ireland and its people began the catastrophic slide into poverty and loss of sovereignty, a situation that will destroy the lives of Irish citizens for generations to come.

It is a genuine tragedy for Ireland that influential people like Mr. Waters are unable or are unwilling to accept the brutal reality that Ireland is an intrinsically corrupt state.

It is worth quoting the final few chapters of Mr. Waters’ article because it sums up his ignorance of the reality that our political system is corrupt and that the rotten system has spread the disease of corruption throughout all levels of Irish society.

It is as though many people now take it as read that Ireland has become a paradise for shysters and robbers.

I must have dropped off for a few years because I have no memory of this dramatic shift in Irish culture being discussed and ushered in.

Mr. Waters is admitting that he has no memory of the very serious political and financial white-collar crime that has been endemic over the last thirty years.

I still had these old-fashioned notions that stealing was illegal and even conceivably wrong and that the State had a responsibility to protect its citizens from crooks. Silly me.

Yes Mr. Waters, silly you.

Copy to:
John Waters

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The Director of Corporate Enforcement, Paul Appleby, is the latest high profile civil servant to announce his retirement in order to avoid losing pension and lump sum entitlements.

By leaving now Mr. Appleby will be paid a lump sum of €225,000 of which only the final €25,000 will be subject to tax. He will also receive an annual pension of €73,000.

RTEs Business Correspondent, David Murphy, who described Mr. Appleby as a ‘very important individual’ did his best to make it sound as if Mr. Appleby’s departure was an important event especially in respect of the ongoing ‘investigation’ into Anglo Irish Bank.

Nothing could be further from the truth. If Mickey Mouse is chosen to replace Mr. Appleby the outcome of the Anglo Irish Bank ‘investigation’ will be the same – nobody will be charged, nobody will be jailed.

Mr. Appleby has been in charge of this so called enforcement agency that has never, not once, managed to bring any significant charges against any significant individual or organisation in its ten year history.

The ODCE was established after a series of corporate scandals (read major corporate fraud and criminality).

It was established specifically to deal with corporate fraud and criminality, it has failed totally in its remit.

It has never, not once, managed to nail any significant individual or organisation despite the fact that financial fraud and criminality is endemic within the Irish financial sector.

The ODCE, in common with all other so called enforcement agencies in our blighted country, is a useless toothless tiger and like all other so called enforcement agencies is designed, effectively, to prevent white collar criminals being brought to justice.

As Mr. Appleby heads off into the sunset with his (lottery) lump sum and pension he may feel he deserves his rewards.

If he does then he’s delusional.

In common with many other senior civil servants who were charged with serving the best interests of the Irish people Mr. Appleby has failed in his duty.

Copy to:

Mr. Appleby

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Minister for Transport, Tourism and Sport, Leo Varadkar, does not approve of referendums.

Some quotes:

I don’t think referendums are very democratic.

I think an unnecessary referendum would be a huge distraction from what should be the real work of government.

We’re a parliamentary democracy, we elect a parliament and that parliament has the power to ratify treaties.

My difficulty with referenda is that they are often hijacked by political parties, either looking to promote themselves or by interest groups looking to make a protest or looking for certain concessions.

Here’s my interpretation of the above quotes:

Government knows best.

Too much democracy is messy and inconvenient.

All political power should be placed entirely in the hands of the very small number of people who actually make decisions within the Cabinet.

In functional democracies Minister Varadkar’s extreme views would be rejected out of hand.

In our corrupt political system, where politicians do pretty much as they like, his views are positively dangerous.

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I see the victims of the Custom House Capital fraud have been given until March 23 to apply for compensation.

Victims can claim up to a maximum of €20,000 which, of course, is mere chickenfeed in comparison to what has been lost.

Some victims have lost everything including their homes and any means of providing for themselves in retirement.

One woman lost close to half a million so twenty grand, if she gets that, will mean little.

Meanwhile, the fraudsters responsible are still walking the streets enjoying the same rights and freedoms as law-abiding citizens.

The Garda Fraud Squad is, allegedly, investigating the matter but victims would be strongly advised not to hold their breaths.

What we seem to be witnessing here is the usual response to alleged white-collar crime in Ireland.

The matter is shunted into a sideline allowing so called regulators; police and politicians to wash their hands of responsibility while the victims are left to suffer the consequences.

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RTE staff were embarrassed when trainer Peter Casey lost the run of himself after his horse won at Leopardstown.

I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. I’ll sleep tonight. I’ll have fucking sex tonight and everything.

Mr. Casey didn’t specify who he was going to have sex with but I suspect his horse is slightly anxious about that ‘and everything’.

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The Central Bank, in an obvious attempt to cheer us all up, is to stage its very own soap opera.

Next week, three bank bosses who were on boards in the lead up to the 2008 financial crisis, must convince the Central Bank’s Fitness and Probity panel that they are capable of running their respective banks.

It’s all a great joke, of course. None of these gentlemen will suffer in any way for their gross incompetence.

But if, by some miracle, they’re told to pack their bags, those bags will be filled with a couple of million courtesy of the taxpayer.

Next week’s farce is only the first episode in this new soap opera.

According to sources it could be several months before the authorities decide whether there are grounds for a full investigation.

And if, by some miracle, there is an investigation, it will be many years before it comes to any conclusion.

And if, by some miracle, these gentlemen are found guilty of some wrong doing their case will be handed over to the ODCE to be considered for another few years.

And if, by some miracle, the ODCE actually manages, for the first time, to complete an investigation into allegations of serious white-collar crime a file will be sent to the DPP for consideration – for an indeterminate number of years.

And if, by some miracle, anybody can remember what the case was about, and if all the files are not mysteriously lost, and, indeed, if any of the bankers are still alive, they may face prosecution and be thrown in jail.

Ah no, I’m only joking about that last bit.

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Recently retired Commander Eugene Ryan of the Naval Service was interviewed by Marian Finucane last week (21st January).

Cdr Ryan spoke about his experiences throughout his long career including how well he was treated by the Royal Navy when attending courses in the UK at a time when the conflict in Northern Ireland was at its height.

I had a similar experience myself while training as a naval diver at the Royal Naval base, HMS Drake, in Plymouth in 1974.

The Irish Navy was just beginning to form its own diving school at the time.

The ability to carry out a ship bottom search was an important skill for a naval diver.

This was principally to learn how to search for limpet mines but also to inspect and clear any blockages on hull equipment including the propeller.

As part of our training we were due to view the hull of a warship and submarine in dry dock to familiarise ourselves with the various pieces of equipment on the hull.

That day, however, myself and the three other Irish trainees were confined to quarters after the IRA carried out the M62 bombing which killed twelve people including a Corporal, his wife and their two children aged two and five.

Confining us to quarters was a precautionary measure but, thankfully and much to our relief, we suffered no negative reaction whatsoever.

Later in the course, and on a lighter note, we were due to attend a lecture and film on the procedures employed by the Royal Navy to protect their ships from enemy divers when at anchor.

Given the political situation there was some worry about revealing top secret information to us but in the end the lecturer simply requested us not to pass on anything to subversives and, of course, we agreed.

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There is a problem with the programme link facility on RTE Radio One but RTE staff do not seem too bothered about it.

I accessed in the usual way by clicking ‘Radio’ at the bottom of the page. This leads to a page featuring all RTE stations with a ‘find a programme’ feature that includes a helpful alphabetic code.

I clicked ‘M’ and gained access to a whole range of programmes beginning with the letter ‘M’ on the various stations including Marian Finucane, the website I was looking for.

At this point the system breaks down. When I click on Marian Finucane nothing happens.

I did discover a roundabout way to the Marian Finucane website by using the search engine but it’s awkward and, naively, thinking RTE might be interested in checking out the problem I rang the station.

I really should have known better because RTE is not good at this sort of thing and invariably I come away highly stressed from such experiences.

The first lady I spoke with (both of us navigated the website as we spoke) insisted that the only means of accessing a particular programme was by typing in the URL address.

When I asked why there was a programme link facility she passed me on to another lady.

The second lady, in addition to being uncooperative, was also angry at being interrupted completing what she described as ‘her brief’.

She too advised me to type in the URL for access to the Marian Finucane website slowly reading out the address as if she was addressing a child.

I insisted on focusing on the link problem and eventually she ‘discovered’ that by clicking on the word ‘genre’ left of the alphabetical code the Marian Finucane website became assessable.

She informed me that she wasn’t responsible for maintaining the RTE website and made it abundantly clear that the conversation was over, that she was getting back to her ‘brief’.

The programme link facility is still faulty so unless listeners are prepared to spend time playing around with it or run the gauntlet of impatient and angry RTE staff the facility is, as they say, off air.

Copy to:
RTE

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Just heard the following comments from Enda Kenny made in response to his earlier comments concerning what happened to our country.

What happened to our country was recklessness by banks, incompetence by government and the essence of greed where people borrowed away over and above for development schemes that became a disaster.

Our people have been the victims of this situation. We’re left with the circumstance of cleaning this up.

In fairness, it seems his earlier comments were misinterpreted.

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Here’s what Enda Kenny said to the Irish people last December.

Let me say this to you all: You are not responsible for the crisis.

Here’s what he said to the world today.

People went mad borrowing in a system that spawned greed, went out of control and led to the crash.

This two-faced, hypocritical attitude is the norm for Irish politicians especially when they’re trying to cover up their own guilt and responsibility.

So let me state very clearly who is responsible for the destruction of our country.

A corrupt political system that created a culture where politicians, bankers, developers, solicitors, estate agents and a whole raft of other ruthless and greedy individuals and organisations thrived in a completely lawless environment.

That culture of corruption and ruling elite lawlessness remains as strong and as untouchable today as it ever was.

The people of Ireland will continue to suffer from and be blamed for the catastrophic consequences of this rotten regime until such time as it is rooted out and destroyed.

Copy to:

Enda Kenny

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