Were you ecstatic when you heard that Sinn Fein’s Barry McElduff topped the poll in the Northern Ireland Assembly elections?
What? – You never heard of McElduff? Shame on you, shame on your ignorance.
Surely you must have been riveted to your seat as commentators analysed the improvement in the UUP vote with Ross Hussey claiming 4,069 votes, outpolling his brother Derek?
What? – You never heard of Ross Hussey, you never heard of his brother Derek?
I’m shocked I tell you, shocked at your lack of interest and knowledge concerning the cosmic events taking place in Northern Ireland.
We can only be thankful that RTE, our national broadcaster is tracking, analysing, dissecting and reporting on these events in minute detail so that every citizen is kept fully informed on how McElduff, Hussey and his brother Derek are doing as our corrupt republic careers over the cliff to financial destruction.
It was agreed by all the commentators that this particular NI election was extremely boring, had a very low turnout and made no difference whatsoever to the political landscape.
But such trivial matters didn’t stop RTE extending its flagship current affairs programme, Saturday View, by a full hour to cover the earthshaking events up North.
Of the 120 minutes of news analysis a full 15 was set aside for a discussion on the financial/political catastrophe that continues to destroy the lives of almost every citizen in the republic.
But even this brief period was interrupted as events north of the border took a dramatic turn when unionist politician Jim McAllister agreed to speak to the people of Ireland on the strict condition that he would not be kept on hold while events in the republic were being discussed.
Economist Moore McDowell was in full flow discussing the latest article by Morgan Kelly outlining the ruinous state of the economy when he was dramatically cut off by RTE presenter Rachael English.
I’m so sorry to cut across you…we have another guest on the line and I’m told if we don’t go to that guest we’ll lose him and we wouldn’t like to lose Jim Allister the leader of the Traditional Unionist Voice.
There then followed an edge of the cliff discussion which began with a question of global importance – Have you been elected?
When McAllister replied in the affirmative, he was immediately faced with an even more challenging question – How significant is that development?
I have to admit I was on the edge of my seat, rooted to the spot, overwhelmed with expectation and excitement – what scintillating question was she going to ask next?
Obviously, RTE believes that the views of this extreme right wing politician, who is the sole elected member of his party and who once described Irish as a ‘Leprechaun language’, were of much greater relevance to Irish citizens than the latest warning from Morgan Kelly concerning the country’s ongoing slide into financial and political oblivion.
Recently, and obviously before RTE focused most of its resources on the NI elections, a woman sent a message to another RTE programme with a desperate plea for help.
My husband has lost his job; we’re €10,000 behind in our mortgage payments. Please, please, somebody help us.
Well, that’s all very well, RTE would say, but you’ll have to wait until we’ve analysed every possible angle arising from the infinitely more important events in Northern Ireland.