HSE qualifications

So, Mr. X, why do you think you’re the best man to fill this high level position in the Health Service Executive?

Three reasons:

First, I have a first class PhD degree in spin. There is no situation, no matter how indefencible, no matter how horrific, no matter how damaging to patients that I cannot present as a progressive development in the health service that all right thinking people will applaud.

Incidentally, my PhD thesis focused on how to deliver apologies that can reduce the most well informed, most ardent opponent of HSE policies, to tears.

Second, my loyalty is completely and utterly to the organisation. I am prepared to do anything, say anything to ensure that the organisation is protected above all other considerations.

Third, I have abandoned my moral compass to remove any possibility of hindering the ruthless and efficient realisation of the above two skills.

You’re hired.