White collar crime does not (officially) exist in corrupt states.

Mr. Justice Peter Kelly was probably in his chambers going over the application from the Office of the Director of Corporate Enforcement (ODCE) for a six month extension to the investigation into Anglo Irish Bank when the truth suddenly dawned on him.

What the hell is going on, he probably thought, this is the 6th application for an extension to this investigation and feck all has happened.

And what about all those other cases that I and other judges have sent to the prosecution authorities with strong evidence of criminal wrongdoing, sometimes with outright admissions of guilt and nothing, absolutely nothing has happened?

Welcome, Justice Kelly, to Public Inquiry. Allow me to explain what’s going on.

In functional democracies serious allegations of white collar crime similar to those made against Anglo Irish Bank are dealt with immediately by the police and courts.

They are not side-lined off into decade’s long tribunals, handed over to virtually powerless agencies like the ODCE or those involved given the option of answering a few polite questions before a completely powerless government committee.

In dysfunctional democracies like Ireland allegations and suspicions of white collar crime are permanently parked, delayed until they become historical or, in many cases, simply ignored.

The most effective strategy, whether intentional or not, of protecting white collar criminals is delay and it is obvious that this is what is happening in the Anglo Irish Bank case. It is this strategy that has so upset Judge Kelly.

Another very effective strategy is constant but never acted upon assurances that action is being taken to make sure this kind of thing never happens again.

That’s why when I first read about the latest delay in the Anglo case I thought to myself – it won’t be long before some state agency issues a statement assuring everybody that action is being taken.

And sure enough, the very next day, the Financial Regulator issued a statement warning banks that Big Brother is watching, that from now on there was going to be very close supervision of banking activities.

I have been listening to such official drivel since the early 1980s.

How, you may well ask, was the FR able to react so quickly? Well, it’s simple.

The latest ‘get tough’ warning was actually issued last March and, probably, to reassure Judge Kelly and help ODCE get their extension, the same mush was regurgitated.

The bottom line is simple; white collar crime does not (officially) exist in corrupt states.

Government to re-float Titanic

Latest…

Finance Minister Michael Noonan has successfully applied a coat of paint to the wheelhouse door on Titanic which lies buried deep in the mud two miles below the cold Atlantic.

A delighted government spokesperson said that Minister Noonan would continue to work on the wreck and was confident that the ship would be fully restored to its former glory in the near future.

Cosmic events in Northern Ireland threatens global apocolypse

Were you ecstatic when you heard that Sinn Fein’s Barry McElduff topped the poll in the Northern Ireland Assembly elections?

What? – You never heard of McElduff? Shame on you, shame on your ignorance.

Surely you must have been riveted to your seat as commentators analysed the improvement in the UUP vote with Ross Hussey claiming 4,069 votes, outpolling his brother Derek?

What? – You never heard of Ross Hussey, you never heard of his brother Derek?

I’m shocked I tell you, shocked at your lack of interest and knowledge concerning the cosmic events taking place in Northern Ireland.

We can only be thankful that RTE, our national broadcaster is tracking, analysing, dissecting and reporting on these events in minute detail so that every citizen is kept fully informed on how McElduff, Hussey and his brother Derek are doing as our corrupt republic careers over the cliff to financial destruction.

It was agreed by all the commentators that this particular NI election was extremely boring, had a very low turnout and made no difference whatsoever to the political landscape.

But such trivial matters didn’t stop RTE extending its flagship current affairs programme, Saturday View, by a full hour to cover the earthshaking events up North.

Of the 120 minutes of news analysis a full 15 was set aside for a discussion on the financial/political catastrophe that continues to destroy the lives of almost every citizen in the republic.

But even this brief period was interrupted as events north of the border took a dramatic turn when unionist politician Jim McAllister agreed to speak to the people of Ireland on the strict condition that he would not be kept on hold while events in the republic were being discussed.

Economist Moore McDowell was in full flow discussing the latest article by Morgan Kelly outlining the ruinous state of the economy when he was dramatically cut off by RTE presenter Rachael English.

I’m so sorry to cut across you…we have another guest on the line and I’m told if we don’t go to that guest we’ll lose him and we wouldn’t like to lose Jim Allister the leader of the Traditional Unionist Voice.

There then followed an edge of the cliff discussion which began with a question of global importance – Have you been elected?

When McAllister replied in the affirmative, he was immediately faced with an even more challenging question – How significant is that development?

I have to admit I was on the edge of my seat, rooted to the spot, overwhelmed with expectation and excitement – what scintillating question was she going to ask next?

Obviously, RTE believes that the views of this extreme right wing politician, who is the sole elected member of his party and who once described Irish as a ‘Leprechaun language’, were of much greater relevance to Irish citizens than the latest warning from Morgan Kelly concerning the country’s ongoing slide into financial and political oblivion.

Recently, and obviously before RTE focused most of its resources on the NI elections, a woman sent a message to another RTE programme with a desperate plea for help.

My husband has lost his job; we’re €10,000 behind in our mortgage payments. Please, please, somebody help us.

Well, that’s all very well, RTE would say, but you’ll have to wait until we’ve analysed every possible angle arising from the infinitely more important events in Northern Ireland.

Copy to:

Saturday View

Rebellion: Sooner rather later

Madam,

What an absolutely spiffing idea! An inquiry is exactly what we need; another 14 years and millions and millions of euros establishing unmitigated corruption which will go forever unpunished (“Burton seeks inquiry into banking crisis”, Home News, April 26th).

Iceland, a country of fewer than 400,000 souls, also had a banking crisis. Little Iceland arrested the politicians and bankers responsible for the collapse, and put them in prison. And they’re not finished. More arrests both inside and outside Iceland are imminent.

Ireland has a DPP, with a very large staff of civil servants at his disposal. He should now arrest both politicians and bankers and try them in a court of law. If they are found innocent they will be freed. If they are found guilty of the crimes charged, they must be imprisoned.

I appreciate that it is so much easier to arrest individuals who are drunk and disorderly or who protest at Government Buildings, than it is to build a case against former members of the golden circle. However, sometimes we really must do the right thing.

The right thing in this case is to arrest and try those responsible for bringing Ireland to its knees.

No more inquiries. No more tribunals. Trial by jury in a court of law is the only way to obtain justice for this poor benighted island.

Yours, etc,

Patricia R Moynihan
Sea Pines Lane,
Las Vegas,
Nevada, US.

I agree 100% with the sentiments expressed in this letter (Irish Times).

Unfortunately, because the disease of corruption has such a hold on our current ruling elite no action can be expected from that quarter.

I firmly believe, however, that sooner rather than later, the Irish people will rise up and throw the whole rotten system on the scrap heap of history where it rightly belongs.

The more things change…

The Fine Gael leader of the Seanad was not happy to hear that radical changes were being considered which would allow citizens rather than County Councillors elect the majority of Seanad members.

The leaders of groups in this House have already embarked on a radical review of the Seanad which will be concluded over the next 12 to 14 months.

Sunday Tribune 30th March 2003

O'Cuiv complaint: Minister; it's nothing to do with me

I received a response from the private secretary to the Minister for Environment, Heritage and Local Government, Mr. Phil Hogan, regarding my complaint in respect of Fianna Fail TD Eamon O’Cuiv.

After quoting the legislation at length the Minister concluded:

Returning Officers are responsible for all matters in connection with the conduct of elections and referendums, including the arrangement of a candidate’s name on a ballot paper at a Dáil election and are independent in the performance of their duties. Consequently, the Minister has no direct responsibility in this matter.

So, according to the Minister, it’s nothing to do with him and, effectively, the Returning Officer is saying the same thing.

Why am I not surprised?

Is that a Fine Gael or a Fianna Fail corner?

The government reaction to the latest bank bail out tells us that the Fine Gael/Labour government is now firmly on the same road as the previous government, a road with many, many corners.

The Financial Measures Programme was already paying dividends across a range of areas said Minister for Finance, Michael Noonan.

In other words, don’t worry folks, we’ve turned a corner, all will be well.

Is that a brand new Fine Gael corner I wonder or perhaps it’s a corner left behind by Brian Lenihan.

Ah yes, Brian Lenihan, he must be feeling nostalgic for all those corners he so enjoyed turning before becoming completely moribund on the backbenches.