George Weigel is a right wing American theologian who believes that the American way is far superior to all others and that the US should lead all other nations, by force, if necessary. He’s a strong supporter of Bush and believes that the invasion of Iraq was necessary in the fight against global terrorism.
He has written many books including the best selling biography of Pope John Paul II. He’s apparently highly intelligent and widely respected, getting invitations to speak from all over the world. He’s also a religious nutcase.
Writing in last week’s Irish Catholic about the Virginia Tech. massacre, George claims that the psychologists have got it all wrong. The killer wasn’t frustrated, self centred or even mad, no, he was possessed by the Devil. Yes, Old Nick himself is apparently still stalking the globe pouncing on every unwary soul that passes his way.
And this is not the first time George has come up with such a mad explanation for a major disaster. He blamed fallen angels for the Indian Ocean tsunami that killed approximately 300,000 in December 2004 (Read the full article here).
Christianity has always had a problem trying to explain why its god would allow such natural ‘evils’ like floods, earthquakes and tsunami’s cause massive suffering to innocent humans going about their business.
In the Dark Ages, before scientific enlightenment, all such nastiness was blamed on Old Nick and his fellow demons working away feverishly on their evil plans far below the surface of the earth.
But nowadays, apart from a few head bangers, most humans don’t give Old Nick the credit anymore. Nowadays, it’s all scientific theory this, scientific experiment that and I can tell you Old Nick and his demons are not happy.
The following is an account of a board meeting in 2004 between Old Nick and his fellow demons to discuss their credibility crisis.
Right you evil fuckers, I want some suggestions and I want them quickly. Things have gone from bad to worse topside. Humans have been making all the running lately, wars, disease, environmental damage, George Bush, global terrorism, Charlie Haughey. We devils have been almost forgotten, we’re not taken seriously anymore and we’ve got to do something about that.
How about killing the Pope? Oh evil one
Bollix, we sent an apprentice devil to do that in 1981 and the bastard missed. And with the state of JP’s health he’s due to join us shortly anyway.
We could arrange for an asteroid to strike and vaporise the whole shebang
Jesus, save me from stupid devils, if we vaporise, who will be left to suffer, who will be left to agonise over the existence or not of ‘Mr. oh so fucking holy’ above in heaven?
I have it. Oh master of darkness, we could impose Irish political standards on every government in the world.
Fuck, even I’m not that evil. No my son, you have great potential for causing suffering and destruction, but while we want something terrible we also want to give humanity some hope of survival.
I have it, oh prince of all that is perfidious, pestiferous and putrid; an underground earthquake in the Indian Ocean topped with a massive tsunami and finished off with a thick coating of dead humanity.
Brilliant, brilliant, but how will we convince the humans that it was our handiwork?
We could use George, your evilness, you know? George Weigel, one of your most successful creations, designed so that humans see an intelligent, philosopher/theologian when in fact you scraped him from the bottom of the barrel in the deepest pit of slime and stupidity.
Yes, yes I knew George would prove useful some day. Make it so you bastards, get out there and create mayhem.
You, get me George on the line…