Senator O'Murchu on short visit to Ireland – from Mars

Presidential hopeful Fianna Fail Senator Labhras O’Murchu was interviewed on Today with Pat Kenny.

Some questions and answers.

On what FF did to the country.

I think the jury still has to be out on that in fairness. Maybe it was in some way interpreted at the time of the election that they were being punished.

On the ceding of sovereignty by Fianna Fail to the Troika.

Well, they happened to be in government at the time of the economic chaos which came about not just in Ireland but globally.

Kenny challenged O’Murchu on this.

Ours was home made, we had a building boom, a property bubble which was manufactured by the government which you supported.

I don’t think you can deny that’s an important part but I also that we all have responsibility.

I believe if we all look at the manner in which people made investments, expecting to get a dividend which was really a gamble.

If you look at the way people who had a lot of money and decided to use that just in a superficial way, the manner in which young people were prompted to think only in terms of materialism, I think we all have blame in this one.

So, there you have it. Nothing whatsoever to do with Fianna Fail.

Good luck on your campaign Labhras.

Martin McGuinness for predident

Noel Whelan, barrister, Irish Times columnist and Fianna Fail supporter thinks that Sinn Fein have no chance of winning the presidential election (Today with Pay Kenny, Friday).

RTEs Charlie Bird is of the same mind (Saturday with Charlie Bird, no link).

He (Martin McGuinness) hasn’t got a prayer of being elected.

I think both commentators are being a bit hasty in their predictions, clearly they’ve forgotten the Mary Robinson effect.

In fact, I’m going to put my head on the block and predict McGuinness will win by a sizeable majority.

Kevin Myers: over the edge into mad-hood

I long ago gave up taking Kevin Myers seriously.

There was a time when his views were reasonable and balanced but in recent years, sadly, he’s gone a bit over the edge.

Take this article, for example, where he suggests that Martin McAleese, husband of the current president, should get himself elected as president and then hand back the office to Mary while he continues his career as a senator.

Great idea, once voters got used to the idea of the ‘man’ they elected wearing a dress and makeup and looking remarkably like the previous president.

Myers goes on to suggest that after 14 years of this his/her presidency the his/hers daughter, Emma, could take over the reins (reign) for yet another 14 years.

Let’s be charitable here.

Myers was heading for mad-hood anyway but I think the excitement of meeting Queen Elizabeth and Mary McAleese at the same time has tipped him over the edge.

Mary Hanafin and her mother at the Áras

A caller to RTE said that Mary Hanafin’s ambition for the Presidency was nothing more than ego mania – such cruelty.

I have it on good authority that poor Mary has been suffering terribly since her arse was forcibly removed from the comfortable leather of her ministerial car.

She particularly misses the sight of riff raff being hauled away to court by burly policemen for daring to impede her imperial route.

Since being booted out of office by the ungrateful peasants poor Mary is lost in a sea of normality, a jungle of ordinariness where she even has to drive her own car and mix with the dirty peasants on the streets and in the shops.

Living in the arse, oops, I mean the Áras, would suit our regal Mary down to the ground. All that pomp and ceremony, all those cars and jets, all those expenses

It’s just the sort of lifestyle our Mary has become used to as a government minister.

And concerned citizens need not worry that Mary doesn’t have a partner to accompany her on all those boringly expensive engagements around the world.

When Mary was minister her mother patriotically volunteered to spend all the taxpayer’s money she could to ensure her daughter wasn’t lonely as she jetted around the world.

Mary’s mother would, however, have to be very careful if she was living in the Park with her daughter President in case of nasty accidents.

In 2009, Mary’s mother won a claim for damages following a fall at Leinster House.

We don’t know how much the poor dear was paid. That’s a state secret, you understand.

The taxpayer must pay but the amount is none of his/her business.

But a fall on her arse, oops, I mean at the Áras, could cost the hard pressed taxpayer considerably more so I’m sure she would be extra careful.

Michael D under pressure from 'peasant'

Presidential hopeful, Michael D Higgins, was on radio today (Friday) answering questions from listeners.

Early on Mr. Higgins made his position clear regarding transparency.

It’s very important in this debate we’re going to have for the Presidency that people be absolutely straight about what the President can and cannot do.

These high ideals took a bit of a tumble when a listener made the suggestion that if elected Mr. Higgins should fulfil his role as President on an honorary basis. That he should accept no salary and instead live on his various pensions.

This is an excellent suggestion because, as president, Mr. Higgins will incur no costs whatsoever, no rent, transport, entertainment, laundry, not even a television or dog licence.

Any cost he did incur, and I can’t think of a single example, could easily be paid for from one of his many generous state pensions.

Such example would, I’m sure, inspire the oppressed and desperate people of Ireland and convince them that at least one member of the ruling elite is feelilng their pain.

Alas, Michael D, in common with most Irish political ‘leaders’, is strong on bullshit rhetoric but very squeamish when it comes to giving up his ‘entitlements’.

I do not intend to draw my pensions from the Oireachtas, Ministry or whatever while I am President.

That ‘whatever’ seems to suggest that Mr. Higgins is not quite sure just how many pensions he’s in receipt of.

Neither does he make clear whether his numerous pensions will be accumulating while he is President, just that he won’t be drawing them while in the job.

The listener ignored this non answer and persisted with his original question.

The current president took a voluntary cut in her salary?

She did, agreed Mr. Higgins, but went on;

Frankly, I think that one should respect the division between the Oireachtas, Government and the Presidency.

One should, of course, especially when ‘disrespect’ could result in a loss of income.

I wonder what herself up in the park would think of Michael Ds accusation that her voluntary salary cut was a disrespectful act against the State, not amused one would imagine.

The listener was not to be diverted.

You could decide that the salary was over generous.

Mr. Higgins, growing ever more uncomfortable;

Well, I think it is capable of being reduced but I’ll tell you why I don’t like this notion of doing it (the job) on an honorary basis – It reminds me of landlordism.

What???

It reminds me of previous centuries when only those who could afford out of their munificence and riches to preside over what were regarded as the peasants who weren’t rich enough to participate.

We have now entered the dark depths of Irish political logic where, in order to protect monetary ‘entitlements’, reality is frequently turned on its head.

Mr. Higgins feels that to accept a cut in the massive salary and expenses enjoyed by the President would somehow offend ordinary ‘peasants’ who are struggling to put food on the table for their children.

The pesky listener just wouldn’t let go of the issue.

You could draw your pensions and live on them?

But Mr. Higgins had reached the end of his patience with this annoying peasant.

I haven’t thought that out to be quite honest with you. I haven’t been considering the financial aspect but (regal tone adopted) I will bear all these suggestions that come forward.

Now, away with you, you dirty peasant said Higgins as he gave orders for the listener to be arrested and beheaded at dawn.

Ah no, that last sentence is only a joke.